Bhaktivaidurya Madhava Maharaja’s Vyasa-puja offering, 1996.
Posted on August 12, 2012
Filed under BVKS Sanga
Dear Srila Prabhupada, on this day I remember the lessons about Krsna
consciousness that I learned from you in September, 1968. At the time you
had not originally planned to come to New York. You came only after we
committed a great blunder. That year Janmastami was toward the end of
August. We celebrated it in a rather unusual way. In those days our
Godbrother Jaya Govinda dasa was living in Vrndavana. In his letters he
mentioned that local people sometimes dressed up as Radha and Krsna and that
everyone respected them as such. Thinking that this was a bona fide Vaisnava
custom, the temple authorities decided to celebrate Janmastami in that way.
They arranged for two brahmacarinis — Indira and Ekayani — to dress up as
Radha and Krsna. Personally I didn’t like the idea at all, but the temple
authorities had ordained it, so I had to go along with their plans.
Indira dressed as Krsna-she wore a bright yellow silk dhoti, a beautiful
flower garland, and a crown with a peacock feather on her head. Ekayani
dressed up as Radharani. After the morning program on Janmastami day the two
girls were ushered into the temple room. Seeing them, everyone was amazed.
They did look very much like Radha and Krsna. The real surprise came when it
was announced that just as when a picture resembles Radha and Krsna it
becomes Radha and Krsna and is worshipable, so these two girls, now
resembling Radha and Krsna, were similarly identical with Radha and Krsna
and should therefore be worshiped as direct manifestations of Radha and
Krsna.
Some devotees cleared all your pictures off of your vyasasana and prepared
it as a throne for this new Radha and Krsna. After they sat themselves on
your vyasasana, everyone bowed down to them, offering them obeisances. Upon
rising, they recited prayers in praise of them as Radha and Krsna.
Afterwards a plate of bhoga that would normally have been offered on the
altar was brought and offered to the two girls. After eating what they
wanted, the remnants were distributed to the assembled devotees and guests.
Thereafter incense, a lamp, and a peacock fan were offered to them. I was
told to hold an umbrella over them, but in my mind I was considering them
rascals for pretending to be Radha and Krsna and wanted to beat them over
the head with the umbrella. The devotees and guests passed the day offering
various types of worship to the two girls.
Several days later, the temple president called his brother in Los Angeles,
where you were staying at the time. He told his brother about how we had had
such a wonderful Janmastami festival in New York so that his brother would
relay the information to you. You were not at all pleased by what you heard.
As soon as his brother finished speaking, you immediately got on the phone
to New York to talk with the temple president. You told him, “You have
committed a great offense. This is sahajiya. I am coming there immediately
to rectify the situation.”
One week later, on August 31st, you arrived in New York. Your flight arrived
after dark. Not only that, your arrival at the temple was delayed by several
hours because of the congested traffic in New York City. I had stayed behind
at the temple to finish the preparations for your arrival. When you finally
arrived, you quickly strode up to the altar, bowed down, and sat on your
vyasasana. Then, after a few brief exchanges with some devotees, you
proceeded to sing the prayers to the disciplic succession. Finishing these,
you began intoning the maha-mantra with your deep, rhythmic and melodious
voice: Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare / Hare Rama, Hare
Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. As we were responding to the mantra, you looked
out at each and every person seated in the audience. By the expression on
your face you appeared very worried. As your eyes met mine and you peered
deep into my soul, I saw that you were very concerned about my spiritual
well-being. I was wondering why you were looking at me like that when I
personally felt there was nothing wrong with me.
In your lecture you ridiculed modern civilization. You mentioned how your
flight had taken a few hours, but after disembarking from the airplane it
had also taken several hours to get from the airport to the temple due to
all the traffic. Therefore, how had the automobile brought any advancement?
Instead, this so-called advancement was simply becoming a disturbance. In
this way, you continuously smashed the concept of technological development
as advancement of human civilization. You explained that real advancement
was development of Krsna consciousness. When you finished speaking, you went
up to your room. As usual, the devotees were milling around in the temple
room, intoxicated with the ecstasy of seeing you again. After a few minutes,
your servant came down and informed us that you wanted everyone to come up
to your room one at a time. We formed a line. Due to timidity, I got as far
back in the line as I could. Gradually the devotees went up to see you in
your apartment.
When it was my turn, I ascended the staircase, entered the apartment, and
then went into the little back room where you stayed. I offered obeisances
to you and then sat in front of you. Your eyebrows were knitted as you
looked at me with deep concern. Then you said, “You are feeling all right?”
I replied, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada.”
You responded, “Then why you are so thin?”
I replied, “Oh, I’mjust eating a little and sleeping a little so I can
become like a gosvami.” At the time, many of the devotees in New York City
had been eating and sleeping very little. We were trying to emulate the
austerities of Satsvarupa and Jadurani in Boston. We thought that if we
reduced our eating and sleeping and chanted more rounds we would
automatically come to the platform of gosvamis.
Srila Prabhupada replied to me, “Healthy means to be as big as Brahmananda.
You should become as big as Brahmananda. Brahmacari means to eat ten capatis
every day. If you eat ten capatis every day, you will always be Krsna
conscious. So, you can do?”
In shock, I gasped, “Yes!” Brahmananda was sitting beside me with a big
smile. I bowed down and left, realizing the foolishness of my artificial
attempts to become a gosvami. It turned out that you had instructed most of
the devotees to eat more prasadam, but I was the only one you instructed to
eat ten capatis every day.
The next day the two girls again dressed up as Radha and Krsna. This time we
all assembled at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. We entered and walked until
we reached a pleasant meadow secluded by trees and flowerbeds. You sat down
upon a large pillow. Then you began leading kirtana, instructing the two
girls to dance in front of you. We also stood and formed a circle around
you. As we danced, our attention was fixed on you, like the petals of a
lotus fixed around the calyx. We hardly noticed the two girls dressed as
Radha and Krsna. When you ended the kirtana, we all sat down on the grass.
We were expecting you to speak something, but instead you surprised us all.
You began asking different devotees to stand up and tell us their
understanding of Krsna consciousness. I was terrified that you would call on
me, but you only called on the senior devotees: Raya Rama, Brahmananda,
Satsvarupa, Jadurani, Purusottama, Advaita, Madhusudana, etc. After some
more kirtana, we went back to the temple. That’s all there was to that
festival. You gave the dressing up like Radha and Krsna no special
importance.
The next evening we had our usual program of kirtana and lecture. The
kirtana was ecstatic and in the lecture you spoke in detail how we can
develop pure love of God. When you asked if there were any questions, my
heart skipped a beat when I saw one guest raise his hand. After hearing from
the devotees for many months about Krsna and Vrndavana, he had recently gone
to Vrndavana. There he met one of your Godbrothers. The fellow took
initiation from your Godbrother, who also told the new disciple that he had
a relationship with Krsna like Mother Yasoda. After returning to New York,
this disciple was always bragging how he had a Deity of Krsna as a baby
which he worshiped with maternal affection like Mother Yasoda. Seeing his
hand raised, you signaled him to speak. He asked: “Swamiji, if I have
maternal affection for Krsna like Mother Yasoda, can I offer Krsna Gerber’s
baby food?”
You wrinkled your brow and asked, “What is that?”
He repeated his question and you continued to look at him with a perplexed
expression. Then someone explained to you what Gerber’s baby food is. You
replied, “Oh, no. We cannot offer canned food or food prepared by a
nondevotee.”
Then he asked, “Can I prepare my own baby food for offering to Krsna?”
You replied, “We do not worship Krsna in that way. We follow the authorized
process for worshiping Krsna. Not that artificially we concoct something or
try to jump to an advanced position. That is the sahajiya way. We simply
follow the process of regulated devotional service. Then gradually we become
purified. That’s all.” The tone Of Your voice revealed that you were annoyed
by the question. The guest was embarrassed that you had not encouraged him
in his concocted worship. But we were more embarrassed that he had asked you
such a stupid question. In those days I was the cook. The next day I was
busy in the kitchen. It was the quiet part of the afternoon. I was just
finishing cleaning the kitchen when your servant came and said that you
wanted to see me in your room immediately. I asked your servant why you
wanted to see me, but he was not aware. My mind raced as I speculated that
perhaps you were displeased with my service. Shaking with fear, I went to
your apartment and knocked on the door. You answered: “Come in.” Entering
the room, I sat on the floor in front of you. Between us was a low wooden
table which you used as a desk. Then you asked, “So, you can paint?”
Hearing your question, I did not know what to think. I thought, “Paint what?
Paint the table? Paint the floor? Paint the walls? Oh no! Maybe Swamiji
wants me to paint the outside walls of the apartment building!” In great
anxiety I blurted out, “Paint what?”
You replied, “Paint pictures, just as Jadurani is doing.”
In disbelief I said, “But I don’t know anything about art.”
You replied, “That doesn’t matter. If youjust have faith in Krsna, then
Krsna from within your heart will guide you just as He is guiding Jadurani.
So, you can do?”
Somehow or other I managed to gasp a weak but affirmative “Yes.” Then you
showed me some photographs of devotees chanting in San Francisco and Los
Angeles. You told me to begin trying to reproduce the photos; then when I
became more proficient I could paint Krsna. You also told me that you were
planning to open so many temples and to print so many books, and therefore
you needed many oil paintings. You said, “Carry on with your regular duties,
but whenever you get a little time, please try to paint.” Then you told me
that I could go.
Thus it was that in September of 1968 1 came to understand the difference
between concocted devotional service, like what the sahajiyas perform, and
devotional service executed under the direction of the bona fide spiritual
master. Thank you, Srila Prabhupada.
Your disciple striving to be your useful servant,
Bhaktivaidurya Madhava Maharaja

